depravedNetworker

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depravedNetworker

Post by depravedNetworker on Sun Aug 05, 2012 12:41 am

>Who's This Asshole?

Your name is RAPHAEL WINFIELD and you are a BONAFIDE ASSHOLE. Your friend who thinks he's COOL AS A CUCUMBER invited you to play some LAME GAME. You secretly want to play though because you have a PROFOUND INTEREST in MULTIPLAYER GAMES like PONG and GUILD WARS (Not Guild Wars 2 because your "LAPTOP" is shit). You also enjoy downloading USELESS SHIT. You don't know why. Currently you have a METRIC SHIT-TON OF THE ANIMES that you'll never watch because THE MANGAS are So much better. You also MAKE STUFF WITH YARN when you're bored or need some Moneys. Your chumhandle is depravedNetworker.


Last edited by depravedNetworker on Wed Aug 08, 2012 1:30 am; edited 1 time in total
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depravedNetworker

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Re: depravedNetworker

Post by depravedNetworker on Sun Aug 05, 2012 1:49 am

>Raphael: Contemplate Favorite Mangas

Ah yes! Your FUCKAWESOME MANGA COLLECTION. You reach over and grab your KINDLE FIRE. For all you know this shit is more powerful than your "LAPTOP". You turn it on and open the MANGO app. There it is. Your beautiful mangas. All sorted out alphabetically. Your current favorite, Medaka Box. Is there and OH MY GOD!!!! IT'S UPDATED! FUCK YES! After reading the latest chapter you look at the other Mangas in the list. Great Teacher Onizuka, the first manga you finished and one of the best. Shaman King, yes just yes, Gantz, it started off extremely interesting and you're now reading it because you want to see how it ends. Mangaka-san to assistant-tan to which you read so you won't explode in anger.

>Raphael: Examine anything else worthwhile in your room.

FUCK OFF! EVERYTHING IN YOUR ROOM IS WORTHWHILE. Especially this amazing VAMPIRE SKULL W/ A DRAGON LIVING IN IT. You look around, you see your assorted collection of BIONICLEs, LEGOS, and ACTION FIGURES. To the right of your bed you see a bookshelf. You see masterpieces such as the Amazing TERRY GOODKIND and the Illustrious TERRY PRATCHETT. Looking at your collection brings an angry tear to your eye. Against the wall opposite your bookshelf is your "LAPTOP" every time you mention that fucking machine you find yourself doing the quotes since one of your sisters smashed the screen so now it's basically a shitty desktop. To the left is your TV, nothing fancy just a TV to play your Kickass assortment of CONSOLE GAMES. There's your closet. It just has clothes and every box for every game related object you own.

>Raphael: Get POS Laptop

You resist the urge to punch something. ONLY you can call your laptop a POS. You WALK UP to your desk and sit down before turning on your "Laptop" hereby and forevermore being reffered to as laptop. You turn it on and notice that some of your chums have been bugging you.

>Raphael: Get Pestered by PC

show pesterlog:

-- propitiousCourier [PC] began pestering depravedNetworker [DN]--
DN: Oh No
DN: Oh God
DN: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT
PC: Nice to see you too.
DN: Shut up
DN: I'm not being amiable
DN: Stop wasting my time
DN: What do you want?
PC: Right. anyhow we're starting the game soon and knowing you you need to get on your mothers' computer.
DN: Yes?
DN: It's already Installed on there
DN: Hello?
PC: Cool. just be ready seems we're going to be connecting person by person.
PC: Sorry got distracted.
DN: Dude, I am always ready.
DN: Just let me know in the obnoxious way you do
PC: Yeah, okay. later then.
-- propitiousCourier [PC] ceased pestering depravedNetworker [DN]--



Last edited by depravedNetworker on Mon Sep 17, 2012 8:33 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: depravedNetworker

Post by depravedNetworker on Sun Aug 05, 2012 8:43 pm

>Angrily Be Happy

You're already angrily happy. For the most part the source of your misery is your POS Computer, Your parents consistant nagging, and your Irritating modus.
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Re: depravedNetworker

Post by depravedNetworker on Mon Aug 06, 2012 10:14 pm

>Raphael: Play around with your fetch modus

You set your Modus to Input and attempt to captchalog your needles. After typing what you think is Needles you see Meedlw on the screen. THIS FUCKING MODUS, you shout out.

>Raphael: Try Again

You type in Needles. It captchalogs them. Ok that's good. You attempt to captchalog your "Laptop". You Type in Laptop. You receive an "Error: Unknown object." message. You wonder why? After thinking you input "POS". There we go your laptop is captcha'd. You think that's enough of messing about with your modus.

>Raphael: Leave your room

That's an absolutely terrible idea. Your parents are down there. If they remember you exists then they'll put you to work. You decide to hunker down in your room. You turn on your PS2 and begin playing Dark Cloud instead. You play until you accidentally break your best sword. Then you calmly place down your controller turn off the console and say FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK FUCK YOU YOU PIECE OF SHIT GAME.

>Raphael: Juggle your laptop, kindle, and yarn while hopping on one leg.

That's right, you should get to work on your next yarn object. You were planning on making this one a yarn design of your kindle, Your POS Laptop, your yarn, and a diagram of you standing on one leg. Man if you didn't fuck around with your yarn you'd probably already have gone postal.
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Re: depravedNetworker

Post by depravedNetworker on Tue Aug 07, 2012 11:58 pm

>Raphael: Fuck Around with your yarn

You're already doing that. I mean seriously come on. You are in the process of making a box for yourself. You'll show it to your chums when you're done.

>Raphael: Factory Reset you are kindle.

You don't even know what that means. Either way. You would NEVER EVER Factory Reset your Kindle. You have thousands of books that you will one day read on it. You continue fucking around with your yarn.

>Raphael: Take a chill pill and talk about your feelings.

You again wonder what could possibly be going on. You are always so calm while you're making stuff with yarn. If your friends saw you now they'd be slightly alarmed. For the first time in a while you are completely at peace with yourself. It's amazing. You wish you can do needlework forever. But alas it's time to stop. You know your calmness will soon dissappear. You decide to take advantage of this calm and.

>Raphael: Pester some chums.

Felicia, Gabriel Double Pester.

Felicia
show pesterlog:

-- depravedNetworker [DN] began pestering detestableIntellectual [DI]--
DN: Hello there
DI: Hello
DI: What brings you here?
DN: Has anyone told you about the shit thats about to go down?
DI: Not exactly.
DI: What's about to go down
DN: Well PC I know is playing the game already
DN: I think US is helping him
DI: What game thing?
DN: WAIT
DN: Gabriel hasn't given you the game yet?
DI: Nope
DI: Scrappy's been hogging the computer
DI: As he is wont to do
DN: Check if you have some shit called Sburb on your comp
DI: Nope
DN: OH GOD DAMN IT
DN: How do you let your dog hog the computer?
DI: You know the all caps thing irritates me
DI: And I don't let him
DN: WELL NOW ILL DO IT MORE
DI: He just does
DN: but seriously
DN: Ok you're behind
DN: I think Gabe's gonna send you the crap you need
DI: He just did
DN: Ok thats alright
DI: Once again, you're behind the times
DN: Install that
DN: Please
DN: I'm simultaneously speaking to him and you
DN: I know the status of crap
DI: As am I
DI: And you don't know shit
DI: You never know anything
DI: Useless braggart
DN: Says the bitch who's never on
DI: That should be your chumhandle
DN: uselessBraggart?
DI: Yes
DN: That sounds amazing
DI: Oh god
DN: Maybe I'll change it later
DI: It was sarcastic
DN: Well I like it
DI: I regret this conversation
DN: I don't
DN: Is the game installed yet?
DI: I'm gonna go download the game
DI: Enjoy your life
-- detestableIntellectual [DI] ceased pestering depravedNetworker [DN]--
DN: Oh God
-- detestableIntellectual [DI] ceased pestering depravedNetworker [DN]--



Gabriel

Show Pesterlog:

-- depravedNetworker [DN] began pestering propitiousCourier [PC]--
DN: Hey man
DN: What do I do now?
DN: I have the game installed and everything
PC: You at your mom's comp?
DN: yessir
PC: Neat. and what's with the sudden unanimosity?
DN: You mean my lack of douchyness?
DN: I was messing around with yarn
DN: Shit calms me down
PC: That's interesting. anyway in the middle of reading a gamefaq and waiting on min. so pardon if i'm not quick on my updates
DN: No problem man. Just let me know
PC: Seems felicia is on, why not see whats up
DN: I guess
PC: Wait a second i'm gonna send you the gamefaq so you're ready for the game.
DN: OK. So is there a specific order?
DN: Like who plays first or some shit?
PC: Well i'm already playing dude, so i guess if there was gonna be an order it starts with me and min
DN: Ok
DN: You didn't give Fel the game yet?
PC: Oh.
PC: Never did send her a code. did i?
DN: Dude
DN: I don't even know
DN: I doubt it
DN: Nope
DN: Just got a reply
DN: Fuck man you're slackin
PC: Well, she hasn't been on in the longest time.
PC: Wait a second i have the codes lying here.
DN: You sending em to her?
PC: Done.
DN: Ok.
DN: So now what?
PC: For me? just waiting, for you? try connecting to somebody else. think we will be good as long as we make sure everyone is a client and a server.
DN: Ok
DN: So who's taken so far?
DN: You I assume are a client
DN: Which would make min the server
DN: anyone else?
PC: Not that i know of.
DN: Well damn
DN: Do I wait for Fel? or should I just connect to Minnie whenever shes on?
DN: Do I wait for Fel or just connect with minnie
PC: Yeah. don't think she needs the stress of you being her server so yeah. anyone else.
DN: Only Fel I think
DN: Since I cannot fucking stand that schizo
PC: I feel you.
DN: Alright man
DN: I think I'm gonna go do some more yarn. Fel pisses me off
PC: Okay, later.
DN: Later
-- depravedNetworker [DN] ceased pestering propitiousCourier [PC]--



Last edited by depravedNetworker on Mon Sep 17, 2012 8:39 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Re: depravedNetworker

Post by depravedNetworker on Wed Aug 08, 2012 1:32 am

>Raphael: Wander around fucking with yarn.

You do that. Because it calms you down and people can actually tolerate speaking to you.
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Re: depravedNetworker

Post by depravedNetworker on Thu Aug 09, 2012 12:50 am

>Raphael: Feel Hungry and go downstairs.

Oh no. Your stomach. It beckons. You've been dreading this moment of the day. You know you have to eat. You know it, but you also know that going downstairs would make you encounter your parents. You really do not wish to do this. But you must. You sigh. Since an encounter with them is unavoidable you decide to stomp your way down the stairs.
"RAPHAEL! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!" You sigh in an exasperated way.
"What do you want?"
"YOU DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!" Says your step-dad.
"Just tell me what you want so I can eat."
"MOVE THIS GARBAGE BIN BECAUSE I'M BORED!"
"Sure no problem." You replay in the most sincerely happy voice you can muster knowing this will piss him off. You proceed to move it.

>Raphael: Strife

You attempt to charge past your father to eat. Your father counters with a chore list. You look at the chore list and then back at him. You attempt to get past him once more. It doesn't work. He just shoves that paper back in your face. You pick up the paper and tell him to let you eat. He absconds. You grab some food and immediately attempt to go back upstairs. Thank god you're safe. You turn around to start running food in hands when you smack into your mother. "Oh, No." You doubt you can take another attack.
Your mother tells you to go upstairs and clean your room. To clean the closet and all that junk. You start throwing a fit. You shove the list of chores in her face and while she's distracted charge back up into your room.


>Raphael: Relax

You make it to your room. Alone at last you sigh. The calm you had from your needlework is gone. You look around your room for your TRUSTY STRESS REDUCER. You find it and squeeze it about 200 times in a minute. You were always planning on getting another but you can't. You calm down some. You think you should go outside. You grab your MP3 PLAYER and your HEADPHONES and run to get your DOG'S LEASH before your parents even know what's up.

>Raphael: Check what's going on outside.

You look outside and don't notice anything odd. You walk your dog. When you get back into the house your parents are gone. There is no trace of them. You think now would be the perfect time to use your mom's computer to play the game.


Raphael: Pester Chums
Raphael: Pester ER
Show Pesterlog:

-- depravedNetworker [DN] began pestering enrapturingRomantic [ER]--
DN: HEY ASSHOLE
ER: Sup, dick, how's it?
DN: WHAT ANIMES ARE YOU WATCHING
DN: Fuck I hate caps
ER: Nice one.
DN: What's Nice one about?
DN: A wave?
DN: GC would like that
ER: Watching AKB0048 and Hell Girl. No, it's about this kid who keeps messing up when he types and uses caps lock.
ER: Check it out.
DN: Googling it
DN: Nice One is the story about the succession of waves and earthquakes that caused massive destruction to beautiful, majestic nippon
DN: Copy Pasted from Animesbro
ER: Ugh, I hate that site.
DN: I know
DN: You think they'd just call Japan Japan and not Nippon
DN: I mean fuck
ER: It's run by weeaboos that use shit like 'majestic nippon' seriously.
ER: Any good stuff on your end happen?
DN: Parents are out. Don't know when they're coming back.
DN: They lift me a list of five days worth of chores. So they'll probably be back in like 3 days
ER: Haha, that sounds shitty as fuck. Does this shit happen on a regular basis?
DN: What them leaving? No
ER: No, I mean the chores.
DN: Usually they give me a list of chores that will take 3 days and come back about two hours later expecting it done
DN: I do it. But it's incredibly shitty
ER: Move out, yo. Then start partying and get all the bitches.
DN: Yeah man supposed to move out in two days
DN: Hopefully everything goes as planned
ER: Sounds good.
ER: Make sure you tell them to leave you alone afterwards.
DN: I told them one call a day
DN: no more
ER: >One call a day
ER: Fair enough.
DN: Thats more then enough
ER: Well once you go off one your own don't party too hard, or you might end up in an awkward situation.
DN: SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS
DN: But seriously man
DN: I can't stand parties
DN: Unless they're filled with NPCs or friends
ER: I love me some CocaCola/Milk shots. Only for the most intense of drink enthusiasts. A table spoon of sugar helps.
ER: Fair enough. I only do it to seduce all the women. No matter dimensions.
DN: Please sir. The only bitches you be getting are 2D and on some 8 1/2 by 11. And they're all over your room
ER: Pfft, you just need to get on my level. My game is so subtle I don't blame you for missing how successful it is.
ER: You ever read the book The Game?
DN: The one that I lost?
ER: Shut up,
DN: Or was that not an incredibly old fashioned 4chan joke?
ER: No, it's not. I mean the glorious book that teaches you all there is to know about 'the chicks', as the book dubs them.
DN: Look man. It's ok. You can confess. We all know you're not straight.
DN: All of us
DN: That's why you have no game.
DN: You're not interested in the prize
ER: Sure, sure. I'll show you all about it some other day. You're too blinded by the misconception that the SYSTEM has placed on you. Stick with me and you'll be enlightened.
DN: Oh god. I'm sorry dude. I just don't roll that way
ER: Keep projecting, and stay chilly. Gonna go do some math now.
DN: You're always doing math
DN: jesus
DN: All summer
DN: Nothing but math
ER: Yup, so I'm gonna do it now.
-- enrapturingRomantic [ER] ceased pestering depravedNetworker [DN]--


Last edited by depravedNetworker on Mon Sep 17, 2012 8:47 pm; edited 3 times in total
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depravedNetworker

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Re: depravedNetworker

Post by depravedNetworker on Sun Aug 26, 2012 6:55 pm

>Raphael try to remember why you were Pestering your Chums
Fuck you forgot once you pestered ER. When suddenly.

>Raphael: Get pestered by PC.
Show Pesterlog:

-- propitiousCourier [PC] began pestering depravedNetworker [DN]--
PC: Game. get in it, don't care who you connect to.
DN: now?
DN: Fuck man
DN: Who's in it?
DN: Did someone else connect when I wasn't paying attention or am I being paired with Minnie
PC: She'd hate it but sure try to get her in the game, that'll get another one of us to safety.
DN: Safety?
DN: What the hell's going on?
PC: You know that movie armageddon?
DN: Yes?
PC: I think that's what's gonna happen, except the meteors are like tracer rounds.
DN: So instead of one big meteor its multiple meteors? And they're targeting people?
PC: Probably.
DN: Wow
DN: So this game brings us to safety?
DN: Where do we go?
PC: Yeah, i'll get back to you when i know that.
DN: So we have two choices
DN: go into the game
DN: or die in a fire
DN: Welp
DN: Let me flip my unlucky coin
DN: Heads I go into the game
DN: Tales I die in a fire
DN: *Flip*
DN: Tails
DN: Wow
DN: Let me go talk to Minnie
DN: Later
-- propitiousCourier [PC] ceased pestering depravedNetworker [DN]--

Jesus Christ. You look outside your window and notice that it's red out there. Holy Shit. You need to get Minnie in the game. Like Now.

>Raphael: Pester US
Show Pesterlog:

-- depravedNetworker [DN] began pestering unhingedSurgeon [US]--
DN: I've Got News
DN: News that you are not going to like
US: Oh, well, that's not particularly fortunate is it...
US: I suppose I have unfortunate news as well
DN: Gabriel says it's time for me to get you into the game
US: Wait, you heard from him?!
DN: Yeah a little while ago
US: How... A quick question if I may
US: Was he still here?
US: Rather
US: Was he still in his home?
DN: I think so
US: Oh
US: If I may clarify
US: Had he said anything about a clock of sorts?
US: Or perhaps a sphere of flames bringing his impending doom?
DN: He mentioned a meteor targeting people
DN: a bunch of them
US: Oh dear Providence...
US: Tell me Raphael
DN: He said our only chance of safety is the game
US: Did he get into the game safely?
DN: He talked to me didn't he?
DN: Gabriel's probably fine
US: Are you saying that he didn't perish in that hellfire?
DN: Nope
DN: He's still kicking
DN: at least he was the last time I talked to him
DN: all of 5 minutes ago
US: Raphael, it may be remotely possible that I lace my speech with a touch too much ire whenever I speak to you, but allow me to rectify my past misgivings by thanking you for how happy you have just made a young lady.
DN: It's alright. It's my fault for being a dick all the time. My parents aren't around so I
DN: am feeling a lot better
DN: So
DN: Your life is in danger
US: That is very pleasing to hear Raphael. I am glad we have the opportunity to converse like properly civilised lady and gentleman
DN: How do I connect
US: You know something Raphael?
DN: Nope. I know absolutely nothing about the current predicaments
DN: Just rolling with it.
US: Under normal circumstances I would be flustered and perhaps even bother myself up to the point where I would idly comfort myself into a lull of complacencly. But I have come to a grand conclusion regarding our current situation.
US: There is no place for such fripperies now.
DN: Glad to hear it
US: Have you any idea how much time I have?
DN: Nope
DN: None whatsoever
US: Fair enough.
DN: Which is why I would like to get you into the game as soon as possible
DN: Well Gabriel's the one worrying
US: I will take it upon myself then to prepare and launch myself into the playing field both literally and metaphorically
DN: Okay?
US: I will be the captain of the queen's navy.
DN: Don't you live in Maine?
US: I am utilizing it as a figure of speech but yes, I do in fact reside in Maine.
DN: Ah
DN: Right
DN: Victorian
DN: forgot
US: Now if you will excuse me, I have some matters to attend to.
DN: Uh
DN: I kinda need to get you into the game?
US: Godspeed to all those who will brave for their lives.
US: I shall
US: That is what I am going to go do.
DN: Well how do I be your server?
US: But
DN: Run the Server client?
US: Yes.
US: I believe you run the game and it will give you the option of playing as server or client.
US: Fret not
US: it is fairly simple.
US: Even I, understood it, no?
DN: You're right
DN: If you can do it I definently can
DN: No Offence intended this time
US: I appreciate the gesture.
US: Fret not, you shall see me soon enough.
DN: Alrighty
US: Until then.
--unhingedSurgeon [US] ceased pestering depravedNetworker [DN]--


>Raphael: START THE SERVER!!!!
HYAHHHHHHH You start the server. Minnie hasn't connected yet.
Fuck.

>Raphael: Pester Minnie again!
Show Pesterlog:

-- depravedNetworker [DN] began pestering unhingedSurgeon [US]--
DN: Hey,
DN: I started the server.
DN: Hurry up and connect
US: Soon Raphael soon.
DN: Hey, it's your life.
DN: You can do what you want.
DN: It just won't be for much longer if you don't connect.
US: Well, I just got a a bit, er, tangled up
DN: With what?
US: Fret not, I shall be on in a little moment
DN: Alright.
US: I would rather not go into the details of the situation I currently find myself in.
US: Just allow me a minute or two
DN: If I had to guess. You somehow got stuck in all the wiring of your computer.
US: Until then.
US: Er, oh, look at the time
US: I simply must get going.
US: Taddy bye
DN: No
-- unhingedSurgeon [US] ceased pestering depravedNetworker [DN]--
DN: You connect right now missie.
DN: Right now.
-- unhingedSurgeon [US] ceased pestering depravedNetworker [DN]--
((Proceed to DN =====> US))
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depravedNetworker

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Re: depravedNetworker

Post by depravedNetworker on Thu Dec 13, 2012 12:24 am

>Raphael: Congratulate yourself
You step back from your computer after watching Minerva get into the game. You smile to yourself knowing you've done good. You stand up, arms upraised in victory, and almost immediately fall over from hunger pains.

>Raphael: What the fuck are you doing? Eat!
You stand up and do all you can to make it to the fridge while nearly doubling over from stomach pain. You look inside and there's only things you can make and one slice of deli-ham and No bread.

>Raphael: Eat ham for sustenance, then use newfound energy to make food
That ham you ate on sight was fucking delicious you feel like you have 10 minutes before the pangs come back. You pull out some thinly-cut steak, some rice, and some black beans. You put the rice in the rice-cooker. You look at it knowing it won't be done it time. You put salt, pepper, and garlic powder on both sides of the steak. Put oil on the pan and throw that shit in there. 2 minutes left. You flip over your steak pull out another pot and put the beans in there. 1 minute left. You start panicking now. you grab a plate and put a paper towel over it and drop the steak onto it. 15 seconds. You look at the rice cooker, it's not done. Oh god. Oh god. 10 seconds. You realize you forgot a drink. You get a cup and start filling it up with water. 4 seconds. You get your knife and fork and cut your first piece of steak. 1 Second. The steak reaches your mouth. 0 seconds. The pangs. They have arrived. You're bent over. You're stomach is in pain. You swallow the steak. The pains recede temporarily but you know they'll be back. They always come back. The rice is still not done. Looks like you're gonna have to eat more steak without rice. You eat half the steak before the rice finishes. You pour your rice into your beans and stir it up. Finally your meal is complete. You eat the meal in peace with no one bothering you, completely ignoring the fact that you need to get into the game before your imminent demise. You finish your food and go back to your room. Well. It's time.

>Raphael: Pester the coolest bastard around
You start pestering your buddy Elwood.
Show Pesterlog:

-- depravedNetworker [DN] began pestering enrapturingRomantic [ER] --
DN: Yo Mr. Cool Bastard
ER: Bastard? You bet your butt I am.
ER: Hi
DN: Dude, I'm gonna be needing your help right now
DN: Not for any macking advice, animes shit, or otherwise unimportant time wasting business
ER: With? I mean, a lot of people need my help. There's a pretty large queue but I can make exceptions to it.
ER: Unimpor-
DN: I need you to get me in the game.
ER: I'm fucking done.
-- enrapturingRomantic [ER] ceased pestering depravedNetworker [DN] --

>Raphael: Pester him again.
You wait all of five seconds to pester him again.

Show Pesterlog:

-- depravedNetworker [DN] began pestering enrapturingRomantic [ER] --
DN: Seriously
ER: I thought I said I was done
DN: I need you to get me in the game
DN: Dude
DN: I swear to god I will somehow get you that Anime DVD you've been uguu~ing over.
DN: If you get me in the game before I die
ER: Get you in the game? Why didn't you say so. Here I'll give you the introductory material The Game by Master Strauss. It contains all the secrets to picking up all the bitches.
DN: Not that game
ER: That'll get you in the game before you die. Hell it got me in the game by the end of the day.
DN: Not the macking game
DN: I'm not in the right mindset for that.
DN: I don't have*
DN: Only a prodigy such as yourself is capable of it
DN: I mean Sburb
DN: The GotY
ER: Hm, sure I guess. I'm not too sure what I'm doing myself. I have this thing in my living room.
DN: Ok. just connect to me
ER: You mean you connect to me.
DN: You're right
DN: I did
DN: Wait no
DN: I'm the server
DN: You're the client
DN: I think?
DN: I don't even know any mroe
DN: more*
DN: Whatever
ER: No, it's the other way around.
DN: You should see me now
DN: I'm gonna need you to put the machines down
DN: Anywhere BUT on top of my bed and yarn
ER: Alright, I'll do that once we connect. I've started up as the server now.
-- depravedNetworker [DN] ceased pestering enrapturingRomantic [ER] --
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depravedNetworker

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Re: depravedNetworker

Post by depravedNetworker on Sat Feb 02, 2013 3:16 pm

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depravedNetworker

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Re: depravedNetworker

Post by depravedNetworker on Sat Feb 02, 2013 3:56 pm

>Raphael: Awaken

Your eyes open. Something knocked you unconscious you don't know what but your skull fucking hurts. You start rubbing your head and sit up straight and stare straight into the eyes of your skullsprite. Your mouth opens in an inaudible scream and the skull starts bouncing up and down like it's laughing at your misery. The dragon in its eye looks at you. That soul piercing stare looks right into you. You know what must be done.

>Raphael: Prototype

You walk to your attic. A place hidden from all eyes and that should never see the light of day. You open the door and there it is. Death. A lifesize plushie of the character Death from Discworld. He looks almost alive. Your resolve fortified you grab your Life-Size Death Plushie that has a gold T.P. on its right sleeve, and on its back has Here be dragons in silver inlay. The skull looks excited. You throw the plushie at the skull. It comes alive.

>Raphael: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

The sprite finishes melding. Your eyes open wide and you start getting giddy. There he is. Your favorite character of all time. Right in front of you. Death. The Grim Reaper himself. You must talk to him.

show spritelog:

Deathsprite: HELLO MORTAL
Deathsprite: WHY HAVE YOU SUMMONED ME INTO THIS WORLD
DN: I don't know, I felt like something was compulsing me to throw your plushie into the skull.
Deathsprite: AH, YOU REFER TO THE DRAGON. IT IS UNFORTUNATE, I HAD NO WISH TO BE BOUND TO THIS FORM
DN: Did I do something wrong?
Deathsprite: YOU HAVE BOUND DEATH INTO A SPRITE.
Deathsprite: DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?
Deathsprite: THE CATASTROPHIC EVENTS THAT CAN OCCUR BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU DID?
DN: I don't think you're the real death though. Just really close to the original.
DN: I only prototyped a plushie of you. Not the real you.
Deathsprite: NEVERTHELESS HUMAN. YOU HAVE DONE SOMETHING THAT SHOULD NOT BE DONE
Deathsprite: I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS WILL TURN OUT OR WHAT WILL OCCUR, BUT FOR NOW I WILL ACOMPANY YOU
Deathsprite: YOU MUST BE PREPARED FOR YOUR ADVENTURE.
Deathsprite: I WILL BE THERE TO GUIDE YOU
DN: I am ready. I don't need much besides my sword.
Deathsprite: VERY WELL. DO NOT BE TOO OVERCONFIDENT IN YOUR ABILITY. YOU HAVE YET TO FIND A SINGLE ENEMY.
Deathsprite: NOW GO.

He dissappears before you even get a chance to ask him anything else. You figure it's time to see what it looks like outside.
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depravedNetworker

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Re: depravedNetworker

Post by depravedNetworker on Sat Mar 23, 2013 5:06 pm

>Raphael: Look outside your window.

You see what look like multiple skeletal deer. They don't notice you which you suppose is a good thing. You get a feeling of dread looking at them. You don't know why but you feel that they want you dead.

>Raphael: Check your weapons.

You look under your bed for your sword. It's nothing impressive. It's just a LONGSWORD. Though it's not a really heavy sword you still use two-hands to wield it. You look around for it's sheath, this is one item you haven't yet put into your Sylladex. You do feel like you may have captchalogued the sheath.

>Raphael: Retrieve sheath from Captchalogue.

You type in Sheath into your captchalogue successfully and it comes out. You strap it onto your belt and head outside.
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depravedNetworker

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Re: depravedNetworker

Post by depravedNetworker on Fri May 03, 2013 11:23 am

>Raphael: Be accosted by a small Eldritch Ministrosity.

As soon as you step outside you see a creature that has the body of a deer and a skull in the shape of a sad harlequin mask with vampire teeth. It's not very large but you see others around it with assorted body parts from other creatures, you see some that look a lot more horrifying than the one right in front of you and OH GOD WHY DIDN'T YOU NOTICE IT'S FEET WERE PINCERS!!!

>Raphael: Dodge to the left and draw your sword

You kind of jump towards the left and try to roll like you see all the time in video games and movies while pulling out your sword. You land on your left arm which lands on a rock and drop your sword because you fucked it up. The Imp walks up to you and raises it's pincers to finish you off, you try moving out of the way but you know you can't move fast enough to dodge it.

>Raphael: Pick up your sword.

You reach for it while the creature swipes down you can't make it in time you think to yourself, you try anyways and right as the creature is about to strike you lift your sword up but the imp is gone. There's just some grist on the floor. You're confused for a moment until you look around and see Deathsprite shaking his head at you from a corner.

>Raphael: Prove your worth to Deathsprite

You look at your arm to see how bad it is and it looks like it's alright you just slashed it a bit where it hit the rock, you'll treat it when you go back into your house. You pick up your sword and charge towards the hostile imps, you slash at one and the blade goes halfway through its body before stopping. The Imp disappears and turns into grist. You need to get stronger, if you want to be a true blademaster you have to be able to pierce through anything.

>Raphael: Level Up

Your horrible dodging skills combined with cleaving that imp halfway earned you a step up a rung on your ECHELADDER to Foppish Swordsman. You smile at your achievement and watch the BOONDOLLARS go into your CERAMIC PORKHOLLOW.

>Raphael: Recuperate in your house and talk to Gabriel.

You think this is an appropriate time to go back inside your house. You run inside and everything seems different. You don't know what it could possibly be, you run into your room and realize the worst thing you can think of has happened. Everything you own, all of it, has been organized. You had no idea there would be a monster made of pure evil willing to do such a thing. Shit. You need to find your computer. You look on your floor and bed where you normally put it. You look in your closet. FUCK. "WHERE THE FUCK IS MY LAPTOP!." you run downstairs into the office to use your mom's computer. Thank god. You turn on the Monitor and see a boy in one of Minerva's room. As you are about to initiate a conversation with him he starts one first.

Show Pesterlog:
-- propitiousCourier [PC] began pestering depravedNetworker [DN] at 14:44 --
DN: Oh god what the fuck
DN: Why am I being attacked by eldritch deer
PC: You'll get used to it.
DN: But, why.
DN: Like I understand the skull head
DN: that was me
DN: I think
PC: Yeah i put in a deer and demetri put in bad decisions. thus our enemy.
DN: Everytime
PC: The demetri bashing can wait, i need you to look at your sburb and see if there's any other things you can place.
DN: what
DN: like what?
PC: well this guide says a punch something or other.
DN: Well it looks like I can place it in minervas house
DN: It costs 4 gushers
DN: the dark blue ones
DN: where do i put it
PC: With the rest of the machines i guess.
DN: Ok
DN: If something goes wrong its your fault
DN: do you agree to these conditions
DN: y/n
PC: Yeah fine.
DN: OH WHAT THE FUCasnsfn
DN: hsgsd
PC: Alright have fun.
-- propitiousCourier [PC] ceased pestering depravedNetworker [DN] at 14:58 --
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depravedNetworker

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Re: depravedNetworker

Post by depravedNetworker on Wed May 15, 2013 10:01 pm

>Raphael: Be Interrupted.
Something hits your foot causing you to lose your balance hit your keyboard with your head and kick the power strip off with the other leg, before it shuts off you see Gabriel's "have fun" message. You turn around to see what hit you, but there's nothing there. Concerned you look up but there's nothing there either. You look down and spot the saddest looking imp you've ever seen. Oh god, it's so small. It tries to stab you with one of it's pincers but you crawl backward. God your head hurts. You feel as though you might lose consciousness but you can't yet. You draw your sword but the blow to your head makes it difficult for you to concentrate.

>Raphael: Stop being so incompetent.
You regain enough focus to pierce your sword through the imp. It turns into some Grist. That took a lot more out of you than you thought possible. You fight off the urge to knock out and manage to stand up. You grab something next to you in order to stabilize yourself. What luck it's a Cuban mop. It will have to do as a makeshift cane. You walk to the bathroom to treat your injuries.

=====>

You look at yourself in the mirror, patched up with bandages everywhere. You need to get stronger. If you keep getting the crap beat out of you, you won't get far. You look around the house to see if there are any more Imps but it looks like that was the only one who got into your house. You think it's because you make sure to lock every door when no ones home because of your fear that something will break in. You sit down on your computer before you realize that someone cleaned your house. You noticed a bit before but thought nothing of it. The only one you know capable of cleaning like that is your insane mother. When you checked your house for imps no one was there so you think it's impossible. You sit back on the computer and attempt to contact Elwood.
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depravedNetworker

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Re: depravedNetworker

Post by depravedNetworker on Wed Jul 17, 2013 4:39 pm

Show Pesterlog:

enrapturingRomantic is offline

Well fuck, since he's not around you decide to explore outside, but before that you decide to install pesterchum on your phone so you can stay in contact while you explore. While it's installing you grab your music player to help you focus on what you're gonna do next.

Listen to Your Music and Clear your Lawn of Imps

You put on your iPod to your favorite playlist and leave your house making sure to lock the door behind you. Time to actually explore your current location. You step outside and see more imps, they are all staring at you. You are not as unnerved as you were the first time, this time you're ready. You unsheathe your sword and prepare for the oncoming battle. You are standing with your back to your door so you can't be attacked from the back.

=====>

An imp charges at your current location and you respond by impaling it on your sword where it explodes into grist. You see the eldritch imps get angry but you don't care you get in the ready stance once more. You stare at the other imps with a smug look on your face taunting them. You charge the one closest to you and slash it causing it to turn into grist, another comes upon you from your left and you slash it as well. You are completely focused and are sure you can take on the rest with ease. More attempt to swarm you and you dispatch them easily. Looking around there appears to be only three imps left around your house. They charge you and you take out two of them with ease, while you swing towards the last one your vision gets blurry and you miss.

>Focus

You attempt to focus and see the Imp about to attack you and you dodge. You quickly dispatch it and walk back into your house. your vision blurs more you feel exhausted. You know you have to sleep soon. You start running to make it to your bed but quickly trip over an object that wasn't there before and fall onto the floor. Your manage to stop yourself from Banging your head on the floor but it took the last of your energy to do so.
>Pass out
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